Why we must move beyond the ‘Boss Babe’ and ‘Boss Lady’ echo chamber

Photo by Jean-Philippe Delberghe on Unsplash

By Kathy Kyle Bonomini, Founding Partner at Amplia Group

To truly empower women, to reduce the gender pay gap, and to help women succeed in business, we must stop labelling ourselves and other women Boss Babes, Girl Bosses, Lady Bosses, and Golden Skirts.

A ‘Girl Tribe Gang’ is coming to my local community and it has caused me to pause and reflect on the mission, messages and impact of these types of groups on women and on our world in general.

Is it a good thing for women to start businesses, support their families, realise their ambitions, meet other like-minded entrepreneurs, and earn a living? Yes, absolutely. However to truly empower women, we must stop posting affirmational quotes by the likes of Paris Hilton (bankrolled by rich parent) and giving the impression of empowering women and really empower them/us.

Women are starting up their own businesses but are these empowerment organisations really helping women be successful once they start the business?

So what are the real messages behind #Bossladytribes?

Girl Tribe Gang is directed at membership for “women who have aspirations to one day work for themselves, women who are juggling the ‘side hustle’ and are in the transition stage of ditching the 9-5, and women who have already taken the plunge.”

BossBabe promises women that if they “join [their] girl gang in The Société” where, they will learn from the “seven figure, serial entrepreneurs” who will “help you dream it, and then real life it…how to work smart as well as hard, so you can earn more by doing less and get weekly blowouts instead of burnout.” The social media feed of both the CEO and the main company website (with over 1M followers) are full of inspirational, uplifting quotes like “Choosing pretty and profiting over petty and broke.”

Both the audience feeds and the networking sites’ feeds themselves resemble a Cosmopolitan photoshoot: working poolside in one’s bikini, sipping champers, meditating by a stream, glamour shot, glamour shot, inspirational quote, glamour shot, featured business, why Michele Obama inspires you (she inspires everyone!), etc.

These Boss-Girl-Ladies-Fempreneurs and the like are selling an aspirational lifestyle that is attractive: a mirage where women are in control. They have the power. They can do it themselves. There is even a t-shirt! They are women supporting women, empowering each other with lip gloss, blowouts, inspirational stories about women who made £300K in 30 days, bikinis and pep talks about being a #badassbitch and #fiercelybrave.

These bold, bright instagram feeds are positive, inspirational. And they purport to provide real-life ‘meet-ups’, societies, and case studies where women have an opportunity to learn from successful women who have, or who are making it in their ‘side hustle’. Some of the featured entrepreneurs on the Girl Tribe Gang are probably successful (definition of success is variable - wealth, status, power, beauty, freedom, etc). Also, I am not here to rain on anyone’s selfie parade. But if women are going to launch and run a successful business, and truly empower other women, we simply need to stop acting and start doing.

Women like Lindsay Rosasco have argued that hashtags like #girlsboss and #bossbabe don’t actually empower women – they demean them. In another op-ed she states that the girl power movement gives the outward appearance of supporting feminist ideals without actually embracing or furthering feminism.

Others, though slightly apologetic about their feminist ideas, embrace the Girl Tribe Gang ethos because ultimately these #fiercelybrave t-shirt clad women do more good than harm. Because the GTG claims that they are helping a few women rather than undermining them, improving their mental health, providing networking opportunities, and they are inspiring women to be pirates versus joining the navy (and being a team player?) - then it can’t be that bad.

In order for women to truly rise above the patriarchy, to become entrepreneurs, and to find empowerment, we should completely reset the game and redefine what success looks like.

Here is how:

Grow. Join a Freelancer Group that is not totally based upon sex or gender, but upon collaborating and sharing ideas, best practices and networking across multiple industries.

Diversify. Mentor and be mentored by people who aren’t exactly like you. Get advice from someone who can write a business plan: 8 out of 10 entrepreneurs who start businesses fail within the first 18 months, according to Bloomberg. 80% of businesses will fail in less than two years.

Teach and Learn. Teach children about gender-based work and then encourage them to consider training in non-traditional gender-based roles. Essentially teach boys about being nurses and teachers and girls about being civil engineers.

Be Authentic. Stop taking selfies of yourself working and just work.  

Should we be embracing communities that continue to perpetuate these tired notions of what it is for a woman to be successful in a man’s world? Beauty, wealth, power, freedom?

Everyone’s definition of success is different…

I support women. I support women in business. But I reject the notion of a #Girl #Tribe #Gang #Boss #Babe. I find it patronising, infantilsing, and it pushes women and feminism back. It is every woman’s choice to do what she wants with business and what labels she chooses to apply to herself, but real empowerment doesn’t come from this form of ‘Girl Power’. As the insightful Ruth Whipman brilliantly points out in her interview with Salon, ‘empowerment feminism’ doesn’t work - once the word feminism was replaced with ‘Girl Power’, it was instantly made safe, non-threatening and easy to put on a sparkly t-shirt.

I support female entrepreneurs. I support women. We are women who are in business. We are not girls. We are not babes.

Unfortunately we will be labelled no matter what we do. As Carol Gilligan, author of the feminist classic “In a Different Voice,” reminds us in a recent New York Times article, “The question is, ‘What is your response?’”

I say we should reject the notion that we need to fit into a box of success that is defined by society’s terms. We should define what success looks like to us, personally and then go after it. And if quotes by Paris Hilton is your thing, then by all means, join a #GirlTribeGang.

I will be running my successful business, mentoring entrepreneurs – men and women alike –  and raising my family, blissfully #bossbabe hashtag free.

Follow Kathy, Founding Partner at @ampliagroup at @IamKathyKyle.